The media's coverage of health stories is often a little hard to swallow - a bit like oysters. Love them or hate them, research has found that 76 per cent of UK oysters contain the norovirus, according to the Independent, Daily Mail and Guardian. But seafood isn't all bad, the Telegraph writes. Eating fish could protect against Alzheimer's, the broadsheet reports. So if your dad starts fading in and out of reality as portrayed by the slightly patronising DH awareness campaign, a fish supper is a good place to start. The Daily Mail also covers this story. And if you want to make it into old age with your faculties intact, you might well want to invest in a shed, the Daily Mail writes. Apparently men feel so relaxed in their garden sheds that they have lower blood pressure and higher self-esteem. But if men want to stay fertile to a ripe old age, they had better not be sitting in their shed surfing the web via wi-fi on a laptop, which the Telegraph and BBC report "damages sperm". Another couple of warnings about approaching old age. Firstly, if you develop diabetes, drug watchdog Nice has refused to sanction the use of ranibizumab - Lucentis - to prevent diabetic macular oedema, which causes blindness, because it is too expensive, the BBC reports. Secondly, a review of medical evidence covered by the Telegraph has found that ceramic and metal hip implants are no better than traditional replacement hips. But if you avoid these pitfalls, you might even make it to 100 and you will quite likely be fitter and healthier than much younger pensioners, the Daily Mail reports.