During the long dark nights of COVID-19 lockdown, many people have turned to online quizzes for entertainment. Here is my pharmacy-themed pub quiz, suitable for Zoom calls:

1. In these difficult times, which of the following is the most irritating?

a) Patients wearing a face mask and standing three metres away from you who decide it’s helpful to mumble inaudibly

b) Patients who say: “l saw the notice that you have no hand gel, face masks or thermometers, but I thought I’d just pop in and ask if you’d had any come in?”

c) Patients who won’t accept that you can’t give a date for the next delivery of hand gel, face masks or thermometers

d) Patients screaming: “I spoke to my doctor five minutes ago – why isn’t my prescription ready!”

2. In a Coronavirus Act 2020 update, NHS England is directing all pharmacies to open every Sunday. The payment will be:

a) Bank holiday rate of £250 per hour

b) Concessionary rate of £50 per hour

c) Minimum wage rate of £8.72 per hour

d) A loan that must be repaid in September

3. Your wholesaler sends a letter to say what an important customer you are and how they value the work of pharmacies in these challenging times. What does the letter go on to say they will be doing?

a) Moving the cut-off time for next-day delivery to 9.30am

b) Moving the morning delivery time to 5pm in the afternoon

c) No longer processing payment for returns. Or damaged stock. Or missing stock

d) All of the above

4. With half of your regular staff self-isolating or shielding, who do you choose to be on the door controlling your “one out, one in” policy?

a) The dispenser’s dad who used to be a professional wrestler

b) A local volunteer who swears he’s only 69 but looks 10 years older

c) A Saturday assistant who spends all their time on their mobile

d) You, because it’s the first time you’ve been out in daylight in the last four weeks

5. Which of the following will be introduced in the next update to the COVID-19 standard operating procedure for pharmacy?

a) A patient group direction for beclometasone inhalers for anyone who’s not used one since they were six years old

b) Instructions on how pharmacy staff can create their own personal protective equipment from a pair of reading spectacles, two carrier bags, and a panty liner with wings

c) To further support social distancing, prescriptions are to be left in boxes outside the pharmacy

d) A partial victory in the C+D campaign to end prescription charges in that patients will no longer pay but the cost but contractors will still be charged for it

Enjoy the quiz and look out for all the answers in the next NHS England COVID-19 bulletin!

A long-running C+D contributor, the identity of Xrayser remains a mystery, but his irreverent views are known by all. Tweet him @Xrayser